This is a little different than what I normally address in my blog
posts, but I feel it's important. Lately I've seen a couple people make
a very public social media spectacle of their personal relationships'
disintegration, and that could have been avoided if they had just been
a bit more discrete.
I think that you're pretty safe on LinkedIn. That site is generally professionally-oriented, and most people keep their personal lives out of it. But Facebook and Twitter are much more socially-oriented, and when a relationship is all hearts and flowers, you may want to shout it to the world. But what happens when it ends?
The interesting part is that sometimes people rush to change their Facebook relationship status to "in a relationship" very early on in that relationship, before they really know each other. It might be better to take a step back and treat social media like you do real life. Do you rush out broadcasting to the world that you're now "taken?" Do you tell everyone you meet, friends, family and strangers every chance you get? Maybe some people do, but many people are more discrete and careful about who they share that information with, if for no other reason, to minimize the circle of people they will have to explain a potential future breakup to.
So, what happens when you've been involved with someone for a period of time and have made a very public demonstration of your coupled status on Facebook and Twitter, and made a bunch of friends together, and then you break up? Who gets the friends? What if his/her friends start criticizing you in social media, perhaps simply to boost the ruptured ego of their closer friend? What if your ex quickly finds a new love, and you are confronted with this potentially painful fact every time you log into your account?
It's much easier to avoid potentially painful situations and people in the real world than it is in social media if you're "friends" and "following" each other. This is where decisions have to be made. You can toughen up and find a way to deal with the new reality, or you can sever your ties with the ex and his/her circle of friends. Or you can stalk your ex. Just kidding. I don't recommend that one.
In the meantime though, this breakup also likely creates an uncomfortable situation for any common friends who may be caught in the middle or feel they have to pick sides. Again, it's generally pretty easy to avoid people in the real world, but the virtual reality makes it hard when you're connected through social media channels.
Ultimately, I caution my clients to be careful about posting personal relationship information on social media before they are married. I also caution them to be careful about postings and tweets that are shared with an intimate partner. Such posts can really come back to bite you down the line when things aren't so wonderful anymore.
Ultimately, discretion is the key, and it can prevent a lot of heartache, embarrassment and a potential public spectacle in the future.
by: Christine Pilch
Christine@GrowMyCo.com
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